I weave cloth to support my genitalia.

hardness is the only skill in my vocabulary

started doodling on the walls while ur hexes keep missing me

Befriended an old married man with an intricate Chinese skill. Guess

holy shit do you use cottage cheese as an alarm clock? that shouldn’t work like that.

Incredibly efficient sing-song structure.

Sucking the Air

Gaming the system by joining rival biker gangs

I unapologetically crawl through the doggie door

Trying to stuff my Butler’s bald dick into the broadside of a barrel while carefully avoiding slivers

I chant ‘lick’ and increasingly push the acceleratoor down.

★in certain pitches I sound like a really hot girl

I can Avatar grasping someone else’s genitals in real life.

I alone have the ability to wield immense power. The pizza stone.

Painstakingly swallowing dozens of nickels

Pissing in a wet suit for ultimate efficiency

i have an awkward listening habit. I whip out my sax!

One of my fucking idiotraits is not understanding basic puppy training points

I’m incapable of pleasing a woman. Good thing I mastered various parlor tricks

They barged in really fast but at least I was good with nails.

They try to stop me, but I will take their genitals off.

Theres someone with solid cognitive ability suck walking

Dude I fart almost silently

Honestly the only nice thing about being a human is that you have 235 random skills, one shit voice, and get to do crude stuff!

2015-10-20 15:30 the moment I acquired my passion for dance.

Where are all the ?????????????????s I used to get them everytime I spoke

Building a water type teddy bear

In a foreign land administering medication that I can’t read the labels

I am television. I am the pud pulling master. I am watching what you do on the phone. I am watching your every move.

To survive a cold it was vital to avoid Wild West bias.

Jumping off porches.

Crawling around like a baby

Got a spicy leg

releasing chi but not collapsing

I morph at night; word of advice I only tend to play fetch with corn dogs.

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close