1. Fuck Eggs
I’m riding into town to buy some: brainlet vegan sandwich
Having a lobster brunch because fast food lady said no again
They may be cannibals, but they invited me to a harmless Crock Pot party.
September 8th 2017 The day I made the master breakfast
I gain 1 follower each time I eat a spider,
I have many favorite foods turkey, cheese, pet electrolytes, roasted cat, too much dairy, light cocaine, Ford!
The invention of corn dogs really changed the game.
As for real nuts? I give them 5 stars out of 10.
Drinks are more expensive after I show the bartender my armpit tricks
Just cut the milk dude! Don’t use ice!
I use chicken not rat cum you literal fucking idiot.
Fuck KJ for 1500 ml of milk. Jimmy would never get me over 1000.
Why is it so wet? I can’t eat this.
Meat topped with Jelly beans and topped with this food. Yum! Trust me, I know fish.
Wendys is where its at oh yeah fuck it 🙂
I swear you could cook bacon directly from the sun
worm water is like vomit with poison ivy beneath.
Gf is allergic to Taiwanese food, but theres nothing ethically wrong with me bringing it just in case
Run run run as fucking fast as I can to Arby’s.
Ordered a burger. Got a hot dog and told to fuck off
This pudding literally makes my grandpa’s bed.
If I have to clog a pickle, that’s just how it is. No fear.
You would not believe my good eating ability ok
I JUST MADE HUMAN CHEESE
Fuck the hell out of dough
I fucking swear I’m eatin at Olive Garden.
Let’s just say cheese is overrated.
The grape juice pretzel started out as a funny thing but now my stomach hurts and Im not even halfway
Im insane drunk on iced milk
Im eating this bread. Its full of shit.
Every mother fucker thinks soy milk is sexy.
Baby I promise I’ll stop dipping my toes in the juice
Here’s what my dad said. He ate 99 Burritos. Eggs are overproduced. Beef is the only cool fast food thing.
I really like it when I can eat dirt Ham tastes even more expensive.
Sucking on a egg. This is immortal shit
Im buying grapes at thrift store today
I just forced a human genie into my drink mix.
Coffee and slumber accordingly.
I LAUGH WHILE CUTTING ONIONS
Please don’t tell me broccoli reduces Kim Possible to zero Protein on the brain.
Give me a round of Budweiser and they’re already at 10 calories per squirt.
Staring at the McDonalds naked
Making gravy is an incredibly useless skill that I’m torturing myself to master
Learned that you can choke on food so now I only eat canned coke
Hand cupping massive amounts of water spewing from my mouth
Do not deprive yourself of the dessert of the future. Hot dog vibes
Getting sexually harassed at McDonalds
Best cereal is: KELLOGS, AUTOMATIC PAIN, DARK LINK, NOT UNSTABLE, OR HORSE, RUIN, DISGUST
Big poop. Thick as hell. Never eating there again
I just ate the best tasting waffle of my whole life but my gf made me eat it off the despicable table like a dog
Giving asshole birth by swallowing a whole Turkey fellas
Here she is here wasting no calories at Applebees.
Just paid 75 bucks for a loaf of bread
big oyster haul ( I grunted because I was hyped )
White people love spending $50 at Applebees and saying it was good
Putting sugar in my drink because you know what??.. I deserve it
Cola obviously hurts my tummy
Eats gum EFFICIENCY.
Gruesome is my favorite Gatorade flavor
I’d rather starve to death than eat a jelly doughnut
im here for the picnic
Theres’ two types of eggs in this world
Eating a handful of scummy bears
That guy is just giving away carrotts?
The best present I ever got was a lime. Please God help my darling brain.
Picturing how pancakes look
why Diet Coke better than beer?
He doesn’t even know what cheese is. Were ketchup used to make it?
ill tell the cookmaster stupid stuff like I’m bipelling a chicken. But im in the back just destroying his kitchen with ignorant deeds.
Been talking to some idiot for some food. Guess what? It’s not going well.