Id pay you to not look at me.

I own Mexico.

I grit my teeth saying: Ford Four year sponsorship!

I charge so much money in bitcoin I forget I have access to the guys extensive cash cows

Sometimes I forget I had a stake in the Iowa prairie game

Got scammed into giving a $100 to a child that died in the ’60s

Fuck you Tim Cook!

I’m gonna trademark debt.

Willfully investing in E-restrooms.

I’m investing in a chemical honey business, but the hard winters in Iowa could fuck that up.

I’m a shoo-in for the landlords chair. Such power.

I’ll admit Cardboard mittens was a failure but my next invention will build upon it.

Im running a penetration lab for PayPal today. 400 VIPs were billed with coins.

If my gf would just give me – Let’s say $100 – I could really get this farm popping

I have irreparably changed the face of the strip mining industry.

In my defense vape porridge could take off.

Big brain business practice hire some locally recognised female rocket scientist

Detective pants might be the worst investment I have made. Maybe Zebra SCHOOL

Vegan Cucumbers. So close to a breakthrough with this.

Thrift Store Island is my grand invention. The culmination of my being

I’m gonna start pud canal

They call me Byteball and it’s literally business as you might expect.

Old Navy Blue Collar style saved my family $500. I’m trying to get that bag

Why don’t you just fucking blow $100 off me dude?

Things are not looking up for me in the global cat business.

Listen folks, im telling you Id make shark cancer a reality.

what do you do for profit Egypt? import soccer?

Hear me out it’s time for a corn dogs Franchise.

Im running my own operations business now. No bullshit secret handshake required.

face it dude, big ground is fucked up

 I will never buy fruit juice over at Whole Foods after that shameless display of capitalism

Give me 100$ and I promise I’lll help you grow a tail

Notable Situations In Lumbridge Infirmary:

A weapon that claims to be Ice Cream goes into my asshole.

“irony queen week” wasn’t the grand idea I thought it was

Doing taxes by mailing out mini-balls that said “Open House coming up” was expensive and apparently doesn’t work

A dollar a burrito? Are you an economist Scott?

Caffeinated water is going to make millions

You all laugh now, but wait till Nickflix takes off

cant brag about whats in this secret chocolate factory but it’s the future of consumerism

Charity? Pffft I give my money to Pepboys

Selling Eels For As Much As US$50,000.00

Betting on Apple stocks and picking at my bald spots

Selling my ball hair curler

Dessert hospital wasn’t as good an idea as I thought…

once screwed my cousin for a big company bonus

Here I am, destroying planets for some megacorporation

ALL purchases made on cask2up puts 1 Pearls back into their natural ecosystem

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